Tag Archives: boundaries

The Art of Saying Sorry

Did you know that there is an art to both giving and receiving a sincere apology?

Have you ever had to apologize – as in really apologize – for something you’ve said or done? Saying “I’m sorry” is a real acceptance of responsibility, an admission of wrong-doing. And most of us just hate to be wrong (please say you agree with that… It’s not just us, right?). This is mostly why many of us either avoid making apologies altogether, or when we do, we fail miserably. Continue reading

6 fake apologies and how to spot them:

We are certain that you, like ourselves, have been left feeling a little chilled at some point after receiving a long-awaited apology. Instead of feeling relief, you’re left with a churning stomach, your heart is thumping, you’re feeling de-centred, uncertain, maybe even irritated. Your gut telling you that this relationship is still not right even though you got the “sorry”. Continue reading

Detox your friendships: making healthy relationship choices

Did you know that friendships have an average shelf life of 7 years? The ones that last longer are the deeper friendships that are truly nourishing and good. They are worth your investment, because the joy, fun, trust, encouragement and support outweigh the irritations, the upset, the clashes (which are normal). Even if you rarely actually see eachother!

Cool.

But what about the friendships – and we’ve all had them – where the bad outweighs the good?? Continue reading

When holiday hell is other people: “Staying sane holiday guide” part 2.

So here’s part two of guide to staying sane for the holidays.

The social part of the Festive Season is fun, ideally. It’s when we get to connect with old friends, family, make new connections too. It can be an incredibly nurturing time and full of genuine care and love.

There’s nearly always an accompanying pressure though isn’t there? Continue reading

Holidays Shmolidays: Fed Up Yet?

Stressing out over the Holidays?

Well you’re not alone! There really is a frenzied feeling out there and it’s real easy to get caught up in it. People are rushing around, bumping into each other, glaring, frowning, clenching jaws, panicking. The atmosphere in shops/stores is almost predatorial! If you’re not careful you’ll lose that warm festive (or Christmassy) feeling they all sing about and quickly develop a hatred for your fellow man.. (you know, that person who’s not making eye contact and just parked their giant car in the space you spotted before they did.   Continue reading

Saying No: the cornerstone of healthy boundaries

At some point or other in therapy with just about every client, the topic of healthy boundaries comes up. Most of us struggle to a greater or lesser degree with knowing how to separate the ‘me’ from the ‘we’. As a result, we find ourselves exhausted, confused and/or overwhelmed by one or more of our relationships. Ann Lamott sums up the literature on boundaries in a beautiful, simple but powerful statement: Continue reading