Category Archives: Self-Development

Do you know what you need to be happier?

It’s always nice to hear from a previous client.

As therapists, we have a privileged opportunity to share a precious part of our clients’ journey through pain, crisis, vulnerability – but we usually do not get to hear about the “what happened next?”. Often, after the work is ‘done’, our minds wander back to our clients and we can only hope that things are going well.  Hope that our relationship however brief, had some positive influence, that they are happier now. Continue reading

How to become more tolerant (and less judgmental): 6 do-able tips

Tolerance is a skill

“The way I see it, you’re wrong“.

Or, depending on your mood, the  ‘wrong’ could be: ‘stupid’, ‘fat’,  ‘ugly’, ‘badly dressed’, ‘choosing the wrong spouse’, ‘driving the wrong car’, ‘eating the wrong foods’, ‘living in a horrible house’, ‘believe in the wrong things’, ‘have the wrong religious or political beliefs’, ‘are being a terrible parent’and on, and on.  And on.

Pick your poison.   Continue reading

Thinking Out Loud: Teaching Children a Healthy Body Image When You Struggle With Your Own.

tanya thinking out loudI can remember it as clearly as if it happened yesterday. We’re sitting in a pub – my parents and I. My guess is that I was nine maybe ten years old.  But while I’m sitting there drinking my ‘soft drink’ (soda as my fellow US dwellers might call it), the issue of weight comes up. Again. Continue reading

Nurturing a healthy body image in young children

It is possible to nurture a healthy body image in our children!

How? By having (or developing) a healthy body image ourselves.

Let’s explain. Continue reading

Ready to kick the ‘sorry’ habit?

We say “sorry” too much.

This isn’t a criticism, more of an observation. “Sorry!” is a social nicety, a social convention, that seems to have gone terribly wrong. Over-saying sorry not only dilutes its true meaning, it can also be a way we in which we unwittingly dismiss ourselves and allow others to follow suit.

Let’s look at what we call the 4 Unnecessary Apologies: Continue reading

10 ‘Life Detox’ choices made easy!

Since we’re all talking detox these days, why stop at guzzling green drinks? We all know that feeling physically healthy is just one part of being emotionally healthy. So let’s look at the whole picture – our body, our environment and our moods. Why not go for a complete ‘Life Detox’ – guaranteed not to result in frequent trips to the bathroom or foul tasting burps?! Continue reading

Emotional Detox: can one size fit all?

Both of us are firm believers that commercialized ‘detoxing’ is at the best a ‘fad’, at worst potentially dangerous. Psychologically speaking, it also appears to somehow minimize or trivialize the actual medical detox that patients need to work through in an addiction program.

We do not support (nor does the research) drastic lifestyle changes. That ranges from drastic changes in our diets to drastic changes in our relationships. Research and experience tells us that these types of changes are just not sustainable, and often do more harm than good.

Having said that, most people who choose to undertake a detox do so for valid reasons. Somehow, they know that they are just not feeling rightContinue reading

If you’re down, don’t get up (just yet): 5 Tips to help you heal

We know this might seem odd – controversial even – but we believe that it’s not always in our best interest to get up and dust ourselves off the moment we’ve had a setback.

Let us explain.

Of course, we agree it is important to develop a sense of ‘I can do this!’ (resilience) in the face of challenges.  However, Continue reading

Got the January blues? 6 Tips to get you back on track

Some of us are not blue. Nope! Some of us are just delighted that the holidays are over, the pressure is off, the tree is down, the electricity bill isn’t straining with the weight of cute but unnecessary lights, the gifts are unwrapped (lost, broken?), sleeping times back to normal, and routine and normality (whatever that is..) has resumed. Almost. Kind of… Continue reading

Being S.M.A.R.T. about New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions can be hazardous to your health.

You may not believe us, but it’s true. And we’re not just talking about the effects of Yo-Yo dieting.

We cannot tell you how many times we have sat face-to-face with a client who is sharing their shame or feelings of unworthiness because they have (in their words) “yet again failed”. Failed to make good on their resolution(s) for the New Year. Failed to lose weight, get fit, be more charitable, be a better parent, be more popular, or even to stop using foul language.

The weight of these feelings is palpable. Continue reading